Monday
December 17, 2012

a message this morning

I find it so disgusting and insensitive to ignore what happened in CT. To not acknowledge it on your blog, especially since you are East-Coast (NJ) based.

But, you’re right. It’s GREAT that you got your Christmas shopping done to feed your rampant consumerism. That’s what this season is about, right? (sarcasm)

I would think your husband’s accident and subsequent injuries last year might change your perspective on things. We hear so little about him and how his injuries have changed your family/life. Maybe it hasn’t. Show some restraint and sensitivity!

I won’t be reading your blog any longer, and I’ll pass my message on to my friends who are also readers.
Amanda

As a blogger & a human being who is still trying to grow a “thick skin,” it is difficult to receive messages like this. To those who feel that me not speaking about/acknowledging the tragedy in CT is insensitive, I apologize. I purposely decided not to talk publicly about this because I wanted to respect those that lost loved ones. ¬†As a blogger, I did not want to make this a forum for discussion on gun control, blame, and parenting. In addition, I did not want to use the tragedy as a subject to drive traffic to my blog. (a place where I make money)

Please understand that this does not mean that I have not shed tears, mourned privately, & hugged and kissed my children more than usual. Our family will continue with Christmas while we pray for the children, teachers, mothers, sisters & brothers who will not be here to do so.

Those of you that know what happened to my husband last year on December 28th know that our year has not only been difficult but has changed our lives forever. Out of respect for my 3 children, I have chosen not to discuss the accident in depth on my blog. That may change one day, but for now I am sure you understand. We take it day by day as many others do. We are happy and hopeful for a positive 2013.
xo, shari

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Categories: Uncategorized
Posted by:

Comments (26)

  1. so sad that you got such a mean msg. :( I’ve never commented but really enjoy your blog and am appreciative of your stance on this tragedy and your decision not to discuss it here. bless you- merry christmas!

  2. As a fellow blogger, I couldn’t agree more with your stance on this. Why the personal attack? Brush it off and continue on. Sadly, blogging really can promote thick skin.

  3. Shari, I am sorry about that message. I have appreciated bloggers taking a bit of silence and expressing their condolences on their blogs but I don’t blame you for not doing so. It is a personal choice. Merry Christmas!

    Rachael

  4. Amanda’s anger is obviously displaced and you certainly didn’t deserve that nasty, negative message. There is a more constructive way to express how one feels but not everyone has to tools to do so. Obviously, everyone is hurting right now and I really don’t expect a blog to address such weighty issues.
    It’s your choice what you post and when. Thanks for years of great postings. Keep up the great work.

  5. I’m sorry you received that message. Everyone is hurting, but it was unnecessary.

    FWIW I have also made the personal choice not to address the tragedy on my blog. I feel like there is nothing that I can say about it that can even come close to giving it the reverence that it deserves.

  6. You have a wonderful blog and I respect your choices. Really brush those haters off. Keep on keeping on.

  7. I am also sorry someone felt the need to send such a rude message. I say good riddance.
    Please continue with your wonderful blog.
    G

  8. I am sorry you were a recipient of such a message. It comes across as extremely hypocritical. She’s upset that you’re being insensitive, so she decides to verbally attack you? I agree there are many more constructive ways to voice an opinion.

  9. Amanda’s issue is clearly one of her own and does not reflect you in any way. It is your choice to post topics and things you like on your blog. In fact it is refreshing to step away from the sadness for a moment and enjoy the other positive things that are happening. We have much to look forward to in life and as hard as it is to mourn the loss of those affected in CT we also need to focus on the other happy things.

    Amanda’s comment’s are those of her own and she is clearly upset and this is her way of dealing with the hurt.

    thank you for letting us step away from reality and focus on something that brightens our day.

  10. I am sorry for that rude and completely untrue comment. I do not read your blog for current events, I read it for everything the blog is intended to be. The tragedy was and still is being reported everywhere. It’s nice to read a blog and not be reminded of it (not that I have a problem with the blogs that have mentioned it). I understand why some people wrote about it and I understand why you didn’t. I’m sure this Amanda was one of very, very few who were ‘disgusted’ by how you chose to conduct your business. You didn’t do anything wrong, besides you are free to blog about (or not blog about) whatever you want.

    Try to remember all the good comments you receive and put that negative one far, far behind you.

  11. Your former reader Amanda has shown no respect nor sensitivity as she suggests you do, but we all respond to tragedy differently. She clearly wrote that out of hurt, but I hope you don’t let it hurt your feelings. Far too many people have been hurt already.

  12. I love your blog and don’t expect you to use it as an outlet for your personal matters (unless you want to – but I don’t think you’ve designed it for that). Not do I expect everyone who publishes a blog to prostrate themselves with grief over this tragedy. Your blog, you do what you like (and a lot of people like what you do!). All the very best.

  13. While I respect bloggers who acknowledge the tragedy at Sandy Hook for their compassion, I respect your restraint, empathy, and your own respect for the same tragedy.
    You did not deserve such a harsh message and I applaud you for sharing it. I wish you and your family health and happiness in the coming year and continued success for your fantastic blog.

    -Gilit

  14. Hey, Shari. I’m sorry you had to receive those messages. Everyone is still hurting and trying to understand what really happened last week in CT, but that doesn’t mean that people are insensitive just because they have chosen not to write about it or talk about it, at least on their blogs. I completely understand where you’re coming from, because I’ve also been criticized for not being more “open” with my life on my blog. I guess we can’t please everyone… and we needn’t be pressured to.

    I love your blog, Shari, and thousands of others do, too. Thank you for always being a spark of beauty and inspiration to us all. Keep on keeping on :)

    Lots of love,
    Martine
    Manila, PHILIPPINES

  15. Totally understand your stance and agree with it. Interesting how Amanda felt you “ignored it” because you didn’t blog about it. I personally don’t see this tragedy as any of ours to blog about, it belongs to the families affected. All the rest of us can do is pray for them to find strength.

  16. I love how people think they can read our motives and reasons for doing or for not doing something. Since when can someone else actally get into another persons mind or spirit? Even my own husband after all the many years he’s been married to me can’t read my mind or my motives. Your reasons seem sound to me and I wouldn’t have thought anyone cold or unfeeling that didn’t write about the tragedy. I would think they were still in disbelief, sadness, confusion, or respecting the family’s of those who lost loved ones.

  17. As someone that works in an elementary school, and works with kindergarteners, I appreciate that you didn’t post about it. I enjoy coming here and seeing all the cute projects, new toys, and what other moms and families are up to… always puts a SMILE on my face. A tragedy has happened, and not talking about it doesn’t make it go away, but I don’t like that feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I hear about it. I enjoy this being my happy place :) Thank you

    And Amanda… go jump off a cliff <3

  18. How ironic that a message advocating restraint and sensitivity does neither in its content.
    At the end of the day, your blog is your personal space and therefore your choice on how you choose to express yourself. If people don’t like it, tough.
    I support your decision and enjoy reading your website x

  19. I personally find it disgusting that some people feel they have the right to attack others over the content of their blog. Even more disgraceful was the assumption that she was entitled to have been kept updated about what has happened to you and your family this past year. Being invited and allowed to share in other people’s blogs is a privilege, not a given right. As someone who has had a tough year with my own husbands health I can imagine how hurtful that comment must have felt. I think you do a great job and have a lovely blog, thankyou for sharing it with us all.

  20. I actually liked the fact that you didn’t blog about it. To be completely honest, right now its everywhere, in all of our faces all of the time. This is my happy place where I come to search for things for my future little one, and it was refreshing to have a place to escape to.
    I also agree with what you wrote, about not using it as a subject to drive traffic to your blog, very well put and really in good taste.
    You are an awesome blogger, and that person obviously has some personal stuff to work out.

  21. I’m so sorry you got that message Shari. It’s up to you to blog about what you want, and you shouldn’t need to explain your reasons to us. I’m glad you haven’t blogged about it, and I feel exactly as you do. Thank you for allowing us the privilege of reading your blog.

  22. As someone who worked in Newtown, with many ties to the situation, I find it comforting to check my daily blogs and escape from the reality that we were all struck with. If I wanted to further go swimming in this mess I would turn on the news and read articles related to the situation.

    Thank you for respecting the families that are burying their babies and mothers, by not turning your blog into CNN or a bashing forum.

    I truly respect you.

  23. What a terrible thing to say to someone! And to take the time to actually write an e-mail about it too? Wow.

    I would think in the aftermath of such a terrible tragedy that we wouldn’t be attacking each other so much as loving each other. Spewing more hate doesn’t do any good, and this message sounds hateful.

    As someone who has personally witnessed and experienced a tremendous amount of suffering in my family and personal life, I KNOW first-hand what it is like to feel the need to share yet keep things private. I struggled often through many incidents to wade through the barrage of emotions including the desire to retreat internally as well as shout to the rooftops, mostly only with the hope that my experiences might somehow help someone else.

    I am also a blogger, not as prevalent as yourself, but still I write about family, adoption, and current issues. Yet, I have not written a single word about Newtown. Will I? Perhaps. But I can tell you that as a writer and more importantly as a human being, I find myself still REELING from this event. Each time I sit down to try to write a poem or something suitable for my blog, etc. I am at a loss. I think this is a natural, human response; and actually quite a responsible and respectful one too.

    I was not personally affected by this tragedy, but many families were. How dare I jump in with my two cents when they are grieving and burying loved ones with the imminence of the holiday season upon us all?

    I don’t know what “Amanda” was expecting from you, but I completely respect and understand your silence. Try to ignore her ignorant remarks. You always do a beautiful job here.

  24. I have read your blog the minute I saw it posted on The Bump and will continue to read it. There is nothing wrong with what you did/didn’t do. Keep up the great work.

  25. Love your blog! We have all grieved for those babies and not writing about it on your blog is a very personal decision and I for one thank you for respecting those families and their time of mourning. Hugs to you… don’t let any nasty ruin your day or holiday.

  26. I appreciate your decision to not bring up the Connecticut shooting. I actually read design blogs every morning to start my day on a positive note. The pictures and commentary make me happy. Thank you for what you do.

Add a Comment

* Required

Follow us on Twitter
Like us on Facebook
Subscribe via RSS
Subscribe via Email

We'd love to hear from you! Please email us at spearmintbaby@gmail.com








GILT